Choices

Me: Do you want to go to the store to get your Valentine's Day treats?
We are going to go right here to this store.
Do you want to go?

My Son: I don't know. Why do you keep asking me that? I don't know.

It's funny, when people ask me that about my life, I just need to anwer it like that. I just don't know sometimes... We all make plans for our life. As high school graduates, we made the decision about college or not. For me, it was college. Once in college, I had to decide what my major study was going to be. I chose, Political Science. I wasn't quite sure about that then. I really should have just answered, I don't know. However, I made the choice. I made the choice primarily because that was my favorite subject in school. It and English were my favs...still are. I made the choice way back then. While in college, I maintained my love for my writing, so I focused on that more than I did my politics. That was fine too. I made that choice. I was on a role making good choices back then. I had two outstanding internships. I made some great connections. One would have thought that I was on my way to a promising career. After graduation, I might have been. My first job fell in my lap because of the connections I made while working those internships. However, I made the choice to end that career rather quickly. I made that decision rather quickly...

Oh the choices we make...I just wish I could really say I just don't know what to choose.

Life went on after that abrupt end to that writing career...

We make choices about what careers we want and how we see our future lives. All too often, I think I've made the wrong choices. I'm thankful I guess that I haven't chosen drugs or a criminal lifestyle. I just wish sometimes I could turn around and make better choices.

I've reached the middle of road, I guess. I'm just living. I'm just surviving, day by day. I no longer have a serious vision for my life. Maybe I've made the choice to give up. Is that really my choice? Like my son, I really don't know...so why are you asking me?

Life is funny to me sometimes. I'm not supremely upset about my life...just a little accepting of choices I've made that have placed me where I am in life. Many of us have made choices in life that have landed us in a place in life that we hadn't intended on. How are we supposed to feel about that? I don't have a lesson learned about my choices in life. I only know that I made the best choice at the time when it was made. I just truly wish that I had made better choices in my life. While I don't know what lesson to learn from this just yet, I live my life trying to help young girls make better choices than I have. I'm laughing as I write this because I sound like my life is seriously in the dumps. It's just that this isn't the life I intended on living. This isn't the life I made choices to end up living. Thefore as young girls tell me the life they intend on living, I help them make the choices to get them to that place. If I can't help myself, maybe I can help someone else along the way.

Lights

When you put the key in the ignition of my car, there are three lights lit up on my dashboard. WARNING! It's not those lights most want to see. The low oil light is on. The low tire pressure light is on. The low gas light is on. Oh, it doesn't have a light, but the tires are way past needing rotating.

It's sort of a reflection of my life. God wakes me up each day, puts His spirit in me and gets me going. Now just like my car, there are several lights that light up on my dashboard. WARNING! The low energy light is on. The low on a second parent for my son light is on. The low on enthusiasm light is on. The low on funds light is on. The low on friendship light is on. The low on companionship light is on. There are lights lit up all over my dashboard. The light blinking - OVERALL TUNE-UP is blinking in bright red.

Well, in the morning I'm going to take my car to the maintenance shop to get all those lights turned off. The car shop around the corner sent me a great coupon, with no attachments, to help pay for the expenses. Whew, thank 'ya Lord for that 'cause those lights are in dire need of being turned off.

So, where is the shop for me? When is my appointment time to turn off all of my lights?

Resolution

As this new year has started, many people have made a resolution to stop or start doing something. I've never truly understood why people do such a thing to themselves. What really does making this new year's resolution, resolve? If you make a resolution to start a lifetime diet in order to lose a couple of pounds or more then all it does is create another problem - stress and anxiety. Therefore you then have to make another resolution in order to resolve the problem that you created. Once that resolution reach a mountain high goal, then many spend time stressing over how to maintain that resolution. Yes, I know that the resolution is there in order to help us be better people, but why does it have to be one big resolution at the beginning of the year? How about every day, every month take baby steps. Start a resolution to resolve one small thing at a time. If you are going to resolve a weight issue, then it will take steps. If you are going to resolve to stop smoking, take baby steps. Don't just set out to resolve something over night or heck even within that year. Resolve everyday to take baby steps toward something greater in your life.

My resolution is to do just that. I resolve to take a look at myself at least once a week to resolve issues I may have with myself. I can share with you today that I'm working to resolve my lack of confidence in how well I write. I write this blog, yet I'm not certain that I'm up there to compete and write with some of the big dogs. I've resolved one step...If everything is legit, I will be freelance writing for eHow.com. So, cross your fingers and hope that it all works out. Otherwise, I will have to resolve the web I've tangled myself in. If all goes well, this blog too will go one step up and become linked with this company and be read by more people with a little extra cash to add to it!

What's your resolution?