Lifetime

The older I get, the more I realize that our childhood truly does follow us for a lifetime. For me, it's the resentment and lack of trust in men. Throughout childhood, I often carried those feelings toward the men in my life. There were always those things that he said he would do that he never did. Those birthday parties missed or those birthdays forgotten. No phone call. Nothing. The children closest to his location were always the ones who got the most attention and most support.

Something. It was always something.

After a while, I had to let some of it go.

Things like this resurface in relationships with men now. I don't trust them...don't trust them one bit. I'd like to think that there are those that are 100% out there, but I'm so saddened to find just the opposite. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I give off the vibes...who knows.
What's an even more scary thought is that I may choose the wrong people based on what I've experienced in my childhood. Hence the reason I believe that your childhood truly follows you for a lifetime.

How can something so wrong be reversed?

Now I have a child who is stepping into a similar web. I wish so bad that I could go back and undo what I've done.

So...I'm about to create a cycle with my child. Well, maybe it will be fine since he can find a sense of trust in me being the opposite sex. Wow! That's profound in a way because what if he becomes too trusting? Naw, I believe the environment I provide for him, he will know for a lifetime what true love really is. How to know, just by instinct, that a woman can be trusted or a woman is worthy.

So today I say, be careful how you live your life and raise your children. You are certainly forming them for a lifetime. We can't change our childhood, but I've been told we can certainly change our futures. Uhm...