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Monday, June 4, 2012


Have you ever truly sat and observed parents?  Have you sat in a car line dropping off or picking up your child from school? If you haven't, try it. Well I've done it and many times it isn't so pretty.  It makes me think about the development of the children and how they come about doing and saying things they do.  For example being a bully.  I do believe that most of that behavior stems from one place - home.  There isn't a meeting or class that can tell me that a school is the primary place that should be teaching children the correct way to treat others.

Just today I watched a show and they spoke about bullying. It's a topic spoken about almost daily worldwide. I think it about it every time I drop off my son at school or camp. It's a scary topic when you hear of some children killing themselves because of it. Having been teased or bullied as a child myself, I can relate.  However I found ways to build myself up rather than allow some outsider determine my fate.

For some time now I've had the pleasure or displeasure to get acquainted with parents in this small and rural town. Of course parents from larger and more urban areas may be similar. Getting to know these people I've noticed how using profanity and derogatory conversation is normal. Many parents I've run across flat out curse their children out as if they were the scum of the earth. Do these parent's mean what they say? Maybe. Maybe not. I know for a fact they would probably lay down and die for their child. However the correlation of using such conversation and the development of a child is not considered.

I've asked myself why wouldn't a parent who calls their child a MF or bastard, or B think that it would matter once the child steps out of the home. I don't think that registers with some people. I don't think it's a race thing because I've seen many races do it. My observations have been in this area primarily - an area where the percentage of high school drop-outs exceeds college attendees or graduates. The lack of education.  That could simply be the answer.  The answer too could be a difference of moral beliefs. Then I have to say no to that option as well.  Why? Because in the same breath these parents curse to their children, they still expect them to have some form of respect for them and certain adults.

Two weeks ago, I was speaking with a young mother and her 3-year old son was sitting to the side with his older sister.  When out of nowhere this child said "shut the F up." I was floored. So as I turned to inform him that wasn't acceptable, he looked at me like I was crazy. No, I didn't wait for his mother to correct him because he had to know flat out that I didn't care what she thought. That just isn't appropriate in public or at home. The mother too tried to shut him up, but only to be quiet and not to inform him what he said was wrong. Parenting. So with that one mother's parenting skills, what do you think is going to happen once he gets into a school environment?  He will most likely be a bully. If he doesn't have the respect at 3, how can one expect him to have it at 13. If you start a child off with certain types of food, behavior, environment, it forms them as a person. Period. The first several years of a child's life forms them.

Studies done state that children bully because of their low
self-esteem, difficult times handling emotions, trust issues, or lack of assertiveness. I'm sure some in depth study has even more details. 

As this is my blog and my interpretation on life...I interpret that some bullying comes from being taught. Some children are being taught or witnessing some form of disrespect in their home environment. It may be a cursing out or disrespecting of another loved one or stranger on the street. It truly doesn't matter. What the child has taken from the people in their home is that it is OK to disrespect. If it's OK to disrespect a relative then all others are certainly fair game. In their minds there is nothing wrong with calling someone a name or belittling them. That is common place in their home. There is nothing wrong with that.

My message to schools and community leaders is to keep doing what you are doing. Instill good lessons as best as possible. However realize that most times it truly isn't the child's fault. They are only doing what they know how to do. It's a scary thought to realize - some parents just aren't the parents you would hope for.  They don't care what you are teaching in that school - they are the F'ing parent and what the F they say is what goes. 

As for my home and my son...he is being loved, he is being taught to respect others, and he is being taught to just walk away and not listen to the nonsense!

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