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Saturday, April 28, 2012

The other WOMAN

I'm in a situation...
Once burned, twice shy?

I don't know if that's what you want to call it, but sometimes women make choices to be the other woman.  Most times it has nothing to do with others, but all to do with the individual. 

A new prospect was presented to one of my girls.  We researched him.  She wanted to proceed with caution because she is in a situation. A situation she doesn't want to ruin. The man she is with treats her well, considering he isn't single.  He lives with his woman (not wife) and my girl is the other woman.  He is a good man, she said.  He treats me well, she said.  I couldn't say a word.  I dare not go against what she said.  It's a beautiful thing to be loved. At what cost...that's up to the individual.

There is a famous Betty Wright song that goes...I'll be the other woman, just as long as I know, that I'm the only other woman you make love to, other than your wife.

 I've been the wife on the other end of that sentence and of course it doesn't feel so good.  You marry with the intention of being the only woman.  I've learned through experience and witness that sometimes you might be lucky to just be the main woman.

I might sound a little cynical to some of you hopeless romantics and lovers of love.  Rest assure, I still believe in love.

I laugh at life.  How do you truly know if you are the only woman?  You will never know.  That's the sad part about it.  You might just be a part-time love.  Some men and some women just need that love and attention for a short time.  Some just need a little variety.  However you can get what you want or need, get it.  Sometimes that's just as good as any fairytale you can imagine.

Find what feels good. 

Another friend of mine recently realized, after about three years, that she truly was the other woman.  What role did she play?  She was the strong, stable, and mature one. The main woman is young and flirty.  On his death bed today, he still toggles with what role either of them really played.  Did it hurt her to find out? No.  It didn't hurt because the role she played was just fine with her.  It also didn't hurt because she now knows her place in his life.  Now she can continue on with her life others.  It's a dangerous game to play.  It's life.  I can't go as far as saying it's about being single because this other woman game gets a little more tricky in marriages. 

Some find security in these relationships. Some find contentment because something is better than nothing.  Some find companionship.  Whatever and however it takes to get it, some out there are just trying to get it.

There was a time that I would bash the other woman because I was never the other woman.  I loathed what she stood for.  I was her victim. 

Today, I don't stand in firm happiness about the other women.  I don't stand in their defense. What I stand for is whatever makes you happy.  I can't stand in judgment because maybe they were burned once.  Judge not.

If you haven't experienced this other woman thing on either side....keep living.

Life is about choices.

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