Happiness can be defined as ranging from contentment to intense joy. Happy is being delighted, pleased, favored by fortune, or having pleasure.
It's such a simple word - Happy. If you say it enough times, you may actually start feeling that way...uhm or maybe not. I just heard that a young boy my son's age was decapitated by someone. I guess I need to just say that I'm happy that I have life. Read a memoir recently, the woman and her friends were addicted to every drug imaginable. They were happy with it at the time. Happiness. A time to be joyful. It doesn't mean in a good state of being. It just means that you are content with life at that point. Well, if that be the case then, the fact that I'm healthy and have life, I should be happy. However, I'm not content with my life as it is now. So, what does that make me...does it really make me unhappy? Maybe it just makes me not happy, but not sad either. I'm just not content. What about you? If you are content, then run out and get your "I'm Happy" t-shirt. If not, then get you get a shirt that says "I'm NOT content" with a smiley face on it. That way people know that while I'm not content with where I am not doesn't truly make me an unhappy and cynical person.
From now on, if someone ask me how I'm doing...what do I say? I truly don't know. I'm not happy that's for sure. So, I guess that I can say "oh, I'm fine, just not content." People don't listen to the answer to that question anyway. Whatever I say, no one would really hear it.
When I was given this word, I had plans on digging into this word, Happy. I wanted to dig into what it means to be happy in a relationship, career, home, and life in general. I'm still meditating on this word, Happy. It's worth a more detailed writing. I'm going to compare it to a few other words and get back to you on this one. So, as many pastors do, this is part one of my "sermon". See you next time. Hopefully not a month from now.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Expectation vs Faith
Expect. Expectation. Expecting. Expected. To look forward to. To anticipate. To consider probable or certain. To consider reasonable. To consider obligated. Are you expecting something? Have you ever expected anything? Do you expect to get anything out of what you are about to read? Is it dangerous to expect? Shouldn't it be equated with faith?
To whom much is given, much is expected. Paraphrased in the Bible, book Luke 12:48. This verse has been determined to mean that God has given his servants gifts and they are required or expected to utilize those gifts to serve. In turn I guess I expect by God's grace to wake every day and make it to work...or is it that I have faith that HE will?
Many of us expect to find the right man/woman who possess certain qualities. Do you expect them to be nice looking, wealthy, and loving? Maybe we all just have faith that we will have some great qualities in the person we fall in love with. Will that person live up to the expectation(s)? Probably, but maybe only if it is expected that they do.
As a child, did we expect life to be as good as waking up on Saturday for early morning cartoons and cereal? Again, maybe at that time we had faith in ourselves that life would be as simple as waking up to cartoons and cereal.
Some have said that expect little and get little. While others live with the philosophy that you can't expect anything. You can't expect a person to do something or be a certain person. You can't expect for anything to happen. There is nothing that can be expected, period.
I ride the fence on this word. Expect. Expectation. Expecting. Expected.
In my mind, I do expect the man in my life to take care of himself....and me too, of course. I do expect him to achieve in a career. I do expect him to show me respect. I do expect him to love me. I do expect my life to be peaceful. I do expect to achieve higher goals. I do expect my friends to be there for me even if they don't agree with what I do. I do expect my family to have my back in times of need. I do expect my boss to respect me. I do expect that none of these things could or will happen. I'm riding this fence until it falls. I do expect that someone reading this may think I'm absolutely nuts. That's ok, because I expect that no two people will agree on any topic all the time. I do expect the best. I do expect the worst. I do like this word expectation, expect, expecting, expected.
Upon further thought and reading. I have determined the relation between the word faith and expectation. Faith equates loyalty. In my final opinion, with no loyalty there is no expectation. Therefore unless you are expecting a baby...expectation is not healthy unless there is loyalty. If there is faith and loyalty in something or someone then expectation is included in the equation. In life, don't expect anything from anyone or any situation unless there is loyalty within it.
To whom much is given, much is expected. Paraphrased in the Bible, book Luke 12:48. This verse has been determined to mean that God has given his servants gifts and they are required or expected to utilize those gifts to serve. In turn I guess I expect by God's grace to wake every day and make it to work...or is it that I have faith that HE will?
Many of us expect to find the right man/woman who possess certain qualities. Do you expect them to be nice looking, wealthy, and loving? Maybe we all just have faith that we will have some great qualities in the person we fall in love with. Will that person live up to the expectation(s)? Probably, but maybe only if it is expected that they do.
As a child, did we expect life to be as good as waking up on Saturday for early morning cartoons and cereal? Again, maybe at that time we had faith in ourselves that life would be as simple as waking up to cartoons and cereal.
Some have said that expect little and get little. While others live with the philosophy that you can't expect anything. You can't expect a person to do something or be a certain person. You can't expect for anything to happen. There is nothing that can be expected, period.
I ride the fence on this word. Expect. Expectation. Expecting. Expected.
In my mind, I do expect the man in my life to take care of himself....and me too, of course. I do expect him to achieve in a career. I do expect him to show me respect. I do expect him to love me. I do expect my life to be peaceful. I do expect to achieve higher goals. I do expect my friends to be there for me even if they don't agree with what I do. I do expect my family to have my back in times of need. I do expect my boss to respect me. I do expect that none of these things could or will happen. I'm riding this fence until it falls. I do expect that someone reading this may think I'm absolutely nuts. That's ok, because I expect that no two people will agree on any topic all the time. I do expect the best. I do expect the worst. I do like this word expectation, expect, expecting, expected.
Upon further thought and reading. I have determined the relation between the word faith and expectation. Faith equates loyalty. In my final opinion, with no loyalty there is no expectation. Therefore unless you are expecting a baby...expectation is not healthy unless there is loyalty. If there is faith and loyalty in something or someone then expectation is included in the equation. In life, don't expect anything from anyone or any situation unless there is loyalty within it.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Self Doubt
Self Doubt, defined as lack of confidence in one self and ones abilities. It's a plague I believe that has stumped my life as well as many other lives. Maybe you can attest to being a person full of self doubt. Don't be so quick to shake your head in disagreement. So many people can sit there and lie with a straight face thinking, "Who me? Not me. I love myself." Well it is clearly defined by ones presence in the land of the living that there is self love. However love of self and doubt of oneself are two very different things. How can you tell? Come with me on the journey of my dictionary of life.
Self doubt is rooted deeply in my life. I'm not ashamed to say it. In my opinion it's very evident that something is wrong. I like myself. I'm more intelligent than many that I come across on a daily basis. I'm well-read. I'm well educated. I know what my passion is in life. I've made mistakes. I've accepted them. I've suffered turmoil. Struggle and I are best friends. Struggle and I make it through each day without death knocking at my door. I'm good. However, I sit here financially strapped...making the same amount of money I made 11 years ago when I graduated with my Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science. Beyond that degree I have training or certifications in Early Childhood Education, Journalism, Education, Literature, and Paralegal Studies. I'm grounded with some serious information. I have more knowledge in me than I could possible put on a resume. I sit here with a mediocre job position. I sit here with serious regret. I'm straight up pissed with myself about why I'm sitting where I am today. There is truly something wrong with that picture.
The picture comes clear when I get one of those seldom conversations with my closest girl friends. They call me with inspirational words to keep me writing. It doesn't register with them totally why I'm not doing what I love. Things just don't add up to why I have all those things that the famous and happy talk about - passion. I have my passion. Maybe you have found yours too. The problem is really self doubt. I doubt that I can actually achieve such a high goal. How am I going to do that from Louisiana? I need to be in New York or Chicago. Just some place other than where I am today - that's what I keep telling myself. Then my self tells me that I truly don't have anything to write about. Who is going to read what I have to say? I can't write a story. I say all these things in my mind, but my mouth can tell you that I can write anything someone will ask me to write. If I have that much confidence in my words, why can't my self get up and get it done. Because I doubt that a publisher will listen to me. I doubt that I can do this as a single mother. I doubt that I can live in the cold weather of the East Coast. I doubt that I can make the money to support us. I doubt that no money will ever make money...because we all know that it takes money to make money. I am so full of doubts that my thoughts are probably freaking constipated.
It's so easy for those on the outside to shed life into your dreams. Just like I have friends shedding light into mine. I see things that I believe they could do. One my girls, we always called her "big brain". She was always smart. In college, she never had to study that much to pass a class. It was always her that was good with Math which is one of the toughest subjects to master for me. I feel like her wit alone would make a good entrepreneur. She would do well at having her own accounting firm - something. Something that is so far above what she is doing now. Mind you she is successful with her career and family, yet there is more that she wants. There is more that she can certainly do. However just like me, I know there is that big machete sitting in her kitchen drawer, self doubt. Yep, self doubt sitting right there in her home to chop up her thoughts and kill them from ever coming alive. My list could go on as to what I think those around me could do. Anytime I shoot out those ideas, there is always a "naw, that wouldn't work because" coming some place in the sentence following my idea. It's purely self doubt killing ideas about life.
I imagine if we were anything like my young son we would probably be in a good place. He believes if it is said then it is done. Therefore if we say something will happen in our lives, then it will be done. What truly is our problem? It is plain and simple, self doubt. That's a killer of a word. It should be defined as "life killer"....the machete chopping up and killing the lives of the innocent.
If there is the least bit of self doubt in your mind start thinking like the man who thinks that he can get any woman. Go up to the opportunity, act on it, and then see how it responds. Don't think about it. Just start walking toward it and take a chance.
Self doubt is rooted deeply in my life. I'm not ashamed to say it. In my opinion it's very evident that something is wrong. I like myself. I'm more intelligent than many that I come across on a daily basis. I'm well-read. I'm well educated. I know what my passion is in life. I've made mistakes. I've accepted them. I've suffered turmoil. Struggle and I are best friends. Struggle and I make it through each day without death knocking at my door. I'm good. However, I sit here financially strapped...making the same amount of money I made 11 years ago when I graduated with my Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science. Beyond that degree I have training or certifications in Early Childhood Education, Journalism, Education, Literature, and Paralegal Studies. I'm grounded with some serious information. I have more knowledge in me than I could possible put on a resume. I sit here with a mediocre job position. I sit here with serious regret. I'm straight up pissed with myself about why I'm sitting where I am today. There is truly something wrong with that picture.
The picture comes clear when I get one of those seldom conversations with my closest girl friends. They call me with inspirational words to keep me writing. It doesn't register with them totally why I'm not doing what I love. Things just don't add up to why I have all those things that the famous and happy talk about - passion. I have my passion. Maybe you have found yours too. The problem is really self doubt. I doubt that I can actually achieve such a high goal. How am I going to do that from Louisiana? I need to be in New York or Chicago. Just some place other than where I am today - that's what I keep telling myself. Then my self tells me that I truly don't have anything to write about. Who is going to read what I have to say? I can't write a story. I say all these things in my mind, but my mouth can tell you that I can write anything someone will ask me to write. If I have that much confidence in my words, why can't my self get up and get it done. Because I doubt that a publisher will listen to me. I doubt that I can do this as a single mother. I doubt that I can live in the cold weather of the East Coast. I doubt that I can make the money to support us. I doubt that no money will ever make money...because we all know that it takes money to make money. I am so full of doubts that my thoughts are probably freaking constipated.
It's so easy for those on the outside to shed life into your dreams. Just like I have friends shedding light into mine. I see things that I believe they could do. One my girls, we always called her "big brain". She was always smart. In college, she never had to study that much to pass a class. It was always her that was good with Math which is one of the toughest subjects to master for me. I feel like her wit alone would make a good entrepreneur. She would do well at having her own accounting firm - something. Something that is so far above what she is doing now. Mind you she is successful with her career and family, yet there is more that she wants. There is more that she can certainly do. However just like me, I know there is that big machete sitting in her kitchen drawer, self doubt. Yep, self doubt sitting right there in her home to chop up her thoughts and kill them from ever coming alive. My list could go on as to what I think those around me could do. Anytime I shoot out those ideas, there is always a "naw, that wouldn't work because" coming some place in the sentence following my idea. It's purely self doubt killing ideas about life.
I imagine if we were anything like my young son we would probably be in a good place. He believes if it is said then it is done. Therefore if we say something will happen in our lives, then it will be done. What truly is our problem? It is plain and simple, self doubt. That's a killer of a word. It should be defined as "life killer"....the machete chopping up and killing the lives of the innocent.
If there is the least bit of self doubt in your mind start thinking like the man who thinks that he can get any woman. Go up to the opportunity, act on it, and then see how it responds. Don't think about it. Just start walking toward it and take a chance.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Respect
I'm saddened today for my young girls. I work with young girls in my community and church. So many of them are just spreading themselves thin with these young men. As a teen myself, I was a little wild, but these girls have nothing on me!
My longing is for them to realize that as women, we set the standard. If we let men run through us like a screw driver, then they will do such. However if we tame them like wild animals, they will be tame. Women and young girls, if we respect ourselves then they will have respect for us. That comes in all fashions. It can be in the bed, in the kitchen, in the car, in the restaurant...wherever you are. One must demand respect of themselves by setting the standard.
I imagine that most of you reading this now already know this. However, this is your reminder to share this with a young girl in your family or friend circle. Don't be afraid to pull that girl aside and have a little talk. Be approachable. Talk to these girls. It truly takes a village to raise a child...I don't care what race or nationality you are. I say that because that proverb that I quoted is supposed to be an African proverb.
Respect is a powerful word. As I think, this is so appropriate for even your work environment. Be mindful. Demand your respect. Carry yourself in a manner that one will know upon meeting that they can't disrespect you. Speak up. Speak clearly. Be heard. Know your stuff. Be smart. Be brave. Respect will come its way.
I feel like all that I know are well aware of this topic, but this is certainly a refresher. Don't forget it. Spread the word. Respect yourself! Demand respect! Live in a respectful manner.
My longing is for them to realize that as women, we set the standard. If we let men run through us like a screw driver, then they will do such. However if we tame them like wild animals, they will be tame. Women and young girls, if we respect ourselves then they will have respect for us. That comes in all fashions. It can be in the bed, in the kitchen, in the car, in the restaurant...wherever you are. One must demand respect of themselves by setting the standard.
I imagine that most of you reading this now already know this. However, this is your reminder to share this with a young girl in your family or friend circle. Don't be afraid to pull that girl aside and have a little talk. Be approachable. Talk to these girls. It truly takes a village to raise a child...I don't care what race or nationality you are. I say that because that proverb that I quoted is supposed to be an African proverb.
Respect is a powerful word. As I think, this is so appropriate for even your work environment. Be mindful. Demand your respect. Carry yourself in a manner that one will know upon meeting that they can't disrespect you. Speak up. Speak clearly. Be heard. Know your stuff. Be smart. Be brave. Respect will come its way.
I feel like all that I know are well aware of this topic, but this is certainly a refresher. Don't forget it. Spread the word. Respect yourself! Demand respect! Live in a respectful manner.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
I be the only one
Have you told someone today that THERE IS NO ONE LIKE ME, BUT ME! Y'all better get out there and let 'em know...
Man, you better take it in 'cause I'm telling you, it gets no better. I'm so serious.
You keep trying to interject you into me, but I keep showing you that is just not going to work.
I'm me and there is no one like me!
So, you better get on board with me 'cause you sure are missing out.
I know you know this already, shucks I just had to remind you 'cause we are getting old and reminders are necessary.
There is no one like me, but me...
Take in all in while you can
Uhm, I'm telling you...if you don't know, you need to recognize.
'Cause man...I be the only one
Man, you better take it in 'cause I'm telling you, it gets no better. I'm so serious.
You keep trying to interject you into me, but I keep showing you that is just not going to work.
I'm me and there is no one like me!
So, you better get on board with me 'cause you sure are missing out.
I know you know this already, shucks I just had to remind you 'cause we are getting old and reminders are necessary.
There is no one like me, but me...
Take in all in while you can
Uhm, I'm telling you...if you don't know, you need to recognize.
'Cause man...I be the only one
Looking
I stopped looking for the one and only needle that I own. It's the needle I needed many a day to sew up a hem, button, or hole. Just the other day, I was preparing for my son's Kindergarten graduation, I found my needle. It was tangled in an unlikely necklace. It's one that I've only worn once. I was searching, but stopped and there it was. I've said this before and I'm sure many have probably told you too - when you stop searching for something it presents itself at the least expected time. I do believe that would be true for so many parts of our lives. It's true when we speak of finding that special person. It's true when it comes to a lost needle - as little as that needle is in the grand scheme of things. It's true when it comes to inspirations. Things and people find their way into our lives when we stop searching. When we stop asking when and where?
Today I found something else - inspiration. In an unlikely place for me - the finale shows of The Oprah Winfrey Show. It sounds cliche, but it's true. It's unlikely for me because I pride myself on not really fashioning myself in the likes of others...even the famous and successful. However during her last shows, I found inspiration in my life as a mother and mentor. The two go hand in hand as I take them seriously. I'm a superwoman! Yes, I said it! I claim it!
I have been blessed with a a gift of mentoring youth and giving them inspiration to strive for educational greatness. I do this in a subtle and effective manner...I don't shout it to the mountain tops.
My mothering - I take so seriously because I'm responsible for the outcome of another human being. It's my 100% responsibility for someone to develop into a productive person. Everything that I do is what makes him. It's like playing a game...too many wrong moves and you lose the game. So far I believe that I've made a few good moves...I'm still in the winning circle at this point. Sometimes I feel like I'm on a tightrope, but I haven't fallen off yet.
I've found inspiration in knowing that my life is certainly not over. I have yet to find that totally rewarding life - career fulfillment. I have yet to find that special someone. However, just because I haven't found tbose things doesn't mean it won't show up in the unlikely place at the most unlikely time.
It is said...Seek and ye shall find. I say seek solace in knowing that sometimes seeking is not necessary because some things find their was in our lives regardless.
Today I found something else - inspiration. In an unlikely place for me - the finale shows of The Oprah Winfrey Show. It sounds cliche, but it's true. It's unlikely for me because I pride myself on not really fashioning myself in the likes of others...even the famous and successful. However during her last shows, I found inspiration in my life as a mother and mentor. The two go hand in hand as I take them seriously. I'm a superwoman! Yes, I said it! I claim it!
I have been blessed with a a gift of mentoring youth and giving them inspiration to strive for educational greatness. I do this in a subtle and effective manner...I don't shout it to the mountain tops.
My mothering - I take so seriously because I'm responsible for the outcome of another human being. It's my 100% responsibility for someone to develop into a productive person. Everything that I do is what makes him. It's like playing a game...too many wrong moves and you lose the game. So far I believe that I've made a few good moves...I'm still in the winning circle at this point. Sometimes I feel like I'm on a tightrope, but I haven't fallen off yet.
I've found inspiration in knowing that my life is certainly not over. I have yet to find that totally rewarding life - career fulfillment. I have yet to find that special someone. However, just because I haven't found tbose things doesn't mean it won't show up in the unlikely place at the most unlikely time.
It is said...Seek and ye shall find. I say seek solace in knowing that sometimes seeking is not necessary because some things find their was in our lives regardless.
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